PAINFUL PLEASURE

Love at first sight, a phrase I remember first hearing during my secondary school days. Do people really fall in love the first time they meet or see someone? Nah, certainly not me. I'm not one of those who buy that ideology. Not saying there isn't that 'wow' moment - that moment you see someone and turn again to catch a second glimpse of them; that moment you see them the first time and a craving for friendship immediately leaps in you. (Un)fortunately for me, I recently found myself hooked on one of such moments. I had 'jejely' gone to do my job - cover an event for which I was paid, Lo-and-Behold!, I sighted a beauty made in heaven, one that caught my busy attention to the extent of wanting to catch another glimpse. No one pays a photographer to come admire a certain guest so I focused on delivering an excellent job by capturing the best shots, but still, my concentration waivered every time the damsel passed by. If she had known the magnitude of the torment her magnificent visage caused me, she probably would have stayed off my zone.

Fast forward...some months later, I encountered Lady Paloma at another event, and, amazingly, the same damsel it was who succeeded in swerving my attention at the event a couple of months earlier. Now, she being the chief bride’s maid, I envisaged a more distracting situation as I am guaranteed a close access to the made-in-heaven beauty (and a VIP viewing point). Well, since I am a single guy, I should neither be sorry nor accused for admiring a charming young lady. However, I could not shirk my huge professional responsibility hence I stuck to working rather than wooing. (Or I probably didn’t have the required 'liver' to start a conversation.)  Anyways, we got talking somewhere along the line as the moment of wanting to be friends with such a divinely configured personality eventually resurfaced. Of course, I didn’t let it slip and we exchanged contacts afterwards.

Mo, as she is fondly called, is such an amazing person. She is a take home to mama; a complete lady by the highest standards. She is smart, elegant, eloquent, godly and, of course, very pretty (winks). She is the kind of person you wish to wake up to see beside you every morning. Her thoughts bring up a special kind of smile to one's face. Tell me you won’t be fascinated by such qualities loaded in just one vessel. Mo became the fulcrum of my heart, the pillar on which my emotions rested. But alas! Mo was inaccessible. Many weeks pass, and I see her times without number only in my thoughts. (Yeah, I was able to be with her in my thoughts because 'love at second sight' had left an indelible mark on me.)

Love can be so cruel, especially when the desirable is nowhere near available. But why is the heart so stubborn? Why does it lock itself to pursue a rigid cause, especially when there are many other options begging our attention? Why do our passions embrace that which weakens the heart - that pleasure that is factory-fitted with pain? Why must that which fascinate us require us to make enormous sacrifices? Why does it request for so much? I know you like love stories but before you get carried away by the bliss of my moments with Mo, the pretty best lady, let me quickly make it clear that, this Mills&Booms Intrigue is certainly not the destination of this article.

So I sat quietly at my place of work ruminating, and discovered that there is always an amount of pain to endure for those things that really hold our passion. Ask any successful entrepreneur, artist, music star, etc, to tell you the painful moments and many sacrifices that accompanied the unravelling of their dreams. Things do not just happen by chance; there is always a price to pay. It took me two years to win an election into the exalted position of the 2^nd Vice District President of Leo District 404B Nigeria, just because I had stiff oppositions who were bent on stopping me from becoming what I had so much looked forward and loved to be. Do you know how uneasy it was for Martin Luther King, Mandela, and the rest of them freedom fighters to effect positive changes which they represented all their lives? Except your mother is as rich as Tetuila's who can afford to sponsor your album every now and then, it still, however, does not guarantee if such fame would be long lasting. Whatever ignites your passion would certainly require your attention. It would sometimes take from you your comfort zone and push you to go the extra mile. You can’t be a force to be reckoned with, a divinity, in your chosen profession if you aren’t passionate about it, and, trust me, such passion brings with it elements of necessary discomfort. Ask every leading student in the university how many candles they burnt while others became more intimate with their beds and pillows? Ask every leading athlete how they subjected their bodies to season films of rigourous exercise in order to claim the crowns they so desire. Ask every Nobel Laureate how many notes they tore away before finally churning out the masterpiece. Ask every designer how many times they struggled with several templates before getting the right one. Ask Thomas Edison how many times he tried before inventing the electric bulb; ask how he dealt with the scourge of failure which accompanied his many failed attempts. Try asking Jacob how many years he laboured before he got his true love from the deceitful Laban. For some it requires being rejected by their folks; indeed, some get thrown out of home. For some there is a temporal cease in that steady source of income, while for others it entails taking steps that aren’t too convenient. For some it would require a total abandoning of ideals or routine, while for others it requires investing a fortune in materials and equipment for growth. For a football star, it could be an extra practice; for a student it could be an extra research; for an artisan it could be an extra effort for skill acquisition; for a businessman it could be a prudent non-convenient approach of saving; for Romeo, it could be a little extra patience for Juliet to make up her mind. If it truly arouses your passion, be prepared to endure every burden associated with it. Whatever it is, it doesn’t always come served on an Alaba CD plate. Nothing good, they say, comes easy. And what is cheaply gotten does not last long rather things that are laboured for are certainly well appreciated for a lifetime. If I want to be the best photographer and I am not ready to learn from the trade masters or constantly improve myself by reading my way to excellence, then I am such a great joker. Does it come easy? I bet not.

Dear friends, we've got to go through the pains to enjoy the gains. We must travail to prevail, for without the painful push during a delivery process there can never be a successful birth. Have you ever wondered where the pain goes after the birth of a child? It makes no more sense; the joy of motherhood certainly eclipses it all. Why is a lasting pleasurable future preceded by transient, momentary pains? I guess it is for the occasion to be more dearly memorable. Jesus went through the process and rigours of suffering and death, then he resurrected to enjoy a class, status, and a name never enjoyed by any. Go through it folks, endure the pleasurable pain or enjoy the painful pleasure and see yourself rise to the very top of your game. May you get the prescribed dosage of patience and strength at all times.

Written by Olukokun Adedeji